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Should: How Habits of Language Shape Our Lives, by Rebecca J. Smith
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Culled from personal experience and keen observation about the effects of habitual self-talk on human experience, SHOULD is the most practical, in-depth study of the language of self-oppression that exists today. SHOULD helps readers reclaim their authenticity through letting go of the external voices that drown out our inner guidance.
When you tell yourself what you should, have to, must, or ought to do, you put on a layer of obligation and identify yourself as oppressed. When you tell yourself that you need something or that you're trying,you put on a layer of frustration and identify yourself as oppressed. When you tell yourself that you can't or you have no choice, you put on a layer of restriction and, again, you identify yourself as oppressed. Chances are good that you don't notice the obligation, frustration, and restriction you heap onto yourself when you say or think these words,but that doesn't mean you don't experience them.
The language of self-oppression nearly always comes to us as the voice of other. These words are the echoes of our indoctrinations - messages that come from the influential people in our lives and from the cultures in which we live. When your head is full of the voice of other, another very important voice gets drowned out: yours.
- Sales Rank: #2925507 in Books
- Published on: 2016-01-08
- Binding: Paperback
- 160 pages
About the Author
Rebecca Smith is a developmental editor and writing coach for Creative Health Care Management, a health care consulting firm that brings sustainable cultural change to health care organizations. She has had the privilege of working on all of CHCM's bestselling books, and is the author of the self-published book, Divine Connection Without Distraction. She lives in Minneapolis with her daughter, Ella.
Most helpful customer reviews
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
My Eyes are Open
By A Customer
I was astonsished to realize how powerfully the things I say every day are creating undesirable outcomes in my life. It's amazing that something so simple, unconscious, and commonplace can be so powerful.
What I like best about this book is that the reader takes away a practice he or she can do for life. I love the idea of living the rest of my life completely free from the effects of should, have to, must, need, try, can't, and the rest.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Brilliant Book About Our use of Language
By O. Merce Brown
*****
Although this book is brief, it is thorough, with expalnations and exercises and examples throughout. Basically, the book is about changing our language so that what we create with our words is very intentional---specifically, eliminating words and phrases like "should, have to, ought, try, need, have no choice, can't" and replacing them with "want to " or "desire". The author illustrates precisely how our negative and inaccurate words create a language of oppression (lack, limiation, impotence, obligation, inauthenticity) from some "unseen Other" instead of simply (or sometimes not so simply) taking responsiblity for our own words. The concept is explored in depth. Of course, we must change our thinking about these words/concepts first, and this is also addresssed in an equally straight-forward, practical manner.
If you are someone who cares about what you create with your words, you'll love this book. If, on the other hand, you don't care about what you create with your language, I doubt you'll find much of interest here; save your money and pursue other activities that interest you. If you never thought much about if or how you create with your words, you'll still get much from it.
Fantastic amount of information with extremely useful exercises covered in a succinct, interesting manner. I highly recommend it, especially to writers, psychologists, coaches, anyone who speaks publicly, or anyone who wants to be clear and intentional with their speech. Can be life-changing for those of us (like me) whose language choices are used daily in effecting personal transformation.
*****
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Helpful and worthwhile!
By Jennifer Louden
Rebecca has identified the vital importance of shoulds, have tos, and must haves as an internal oppressor we can learn to root out to find our way to true desire. A really powerful, clear guide.
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